Thursday, September 30, 2004
okie.. i've decided not to care about my prelim results . well , aniwae i know im gonna do better in O lvl .. well. not juz becuz im an egoistical and narssisstic person.. but becuz i know i have the potential. i mean.. it's in the genes*smirk*.. it would be so unfair if my brother is a smart alec and im not right.. and i do know i can get better results if im willing to work hard.. and of cuz.. i can alwayz ask my brother to give me his divine guidance.. haha.. but the one thing i noe is.. Im gonna trust God , that's a simple thing to do .. but yeah i noe I will trust Him.. i've fallen too many a times to realize this simple fact.. Without God im nothing , With God , i can do everything and anything ..
so yeah.. why do i care about prelim?
i will shock my whole school with my amazing results
now .. that's so egoistical =D
aniwae.. there's a new trend.. flaming at others tag and not willing to reveal your name.. well.. actually.. it has been around long enuff .. but well.. juz visited my darling's blog.. it's so sad.. and obviously .. flaming onli arises when there's jealousy..
haha..
so yeah..
it's self explanatory yeah?
*shakes head*
*whispered a little prayer for all this people*
w i t h . l o v e
3:11 PM
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
after 10 hrs of shopping.. i've found my prom dress..
guess what?
while trying to find IS in suntec.. *to find out that it's in heeren and tangs*
we went to 5 Daniel Yan's shop..
that's bad..
i got 3 choices..
IS, the dress at OG or Arthur Yen
i guess..
we are goin to metro tml again..
LoLx
w i t h . l o v e
9:30 PM
Watch out ! University of South Australia , here i come!
gab and i shared this common dream of getting into UniSa together .. taking the same course .. of cuz -.-''.. aniwae.. 4 years to get bachelor's degree with honours is better den staying in singapore to study ing uni for 3 years .. onli to get a degree..
University of South Australi.. here we come!!!!
which means.. i have to get geared on .. to go Jc .. to obtain an A Lvl cert.. with presentable results *of cuz*...
i m so excited!
w i t h . l o v e
10:08 AM
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
jus read my kor's blog.. *yes .. by bloody relations* , i've realized one thing which i finally agree with him
as quoted from his blog :
"Perhaps i think too much, then again, perhaps other ppl are too caught up in the rat race to actually slow down , take a moment and think. "
"I realised sometimes u just have to see beyond the present shroud to realise what is actually beyond them."
as i stood in front of my window.. feeling the cool winds brushing against me.. i took a moment to relax.. to clear my mind..
during this few mintues..though short.. i came to know myself in a brand new way..
funny how things work.. i've come to realize how much i've changed.. not only becuz the progression of age.. but also the environment im exposed to .. this society is too fast-paced.. sometimes i do feel like im suffocating .. i long to get released by the grip of pressures.. im bounded by stress..
i lost my focus.. i stopped at the present.. reliving the past everyday..
sometimes.. people get too caught up in their illusions.. they failed to look at the present .. they fantasized about the future.. sometimes people get too caught up by their past.. they limit themselves in the present.. they can no longer generate a future.. for me.. im caught up in the past.. i refused to accept the present.. i created an illusion about my future.. but reality struck me.. im being pull back to the present.. juz like a perpetual gravational force .. pullin me back whenever i've wandered too far.. this is a never ending circle..
i took a step out.. review now.. i alwayz thought i know what i wan in life.. what i wan to achieve.. however today.. i can sae that im disillusioned.
when the truth juz smack me right in my face.. with my exams staring in front of me.. i know time is running out..
if i don do what i can to salvage this situation.. i can sae that i belong to the world of road sweepers
w i t h . l o v e
2:25 PM
i got a whole new idea of "exams are so near that are staring at your face"
shall not elaborate about my failure..
w i t h . l o v e
1:16 PM
Sunday, September 26, 2004
deleted my previous post..
it's too scandalous..
having phys paper 2 tml
yesterday was in church..
time seemed to pass so fast
im only at chapter 6 when it's alreadi 9:30
or izzit becuz my brain process superb slow?
w i t h . l o v e
8:59 AM
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Jerry - Di Xin Yin Li
chorus:
love's like gravity , no way of resisting it , slowly but deeply the attraction between us grows
it doesnt matter if you break my heart , im willing to wait
in this world.. i can only focus on you
love's like gravity , there's no gap , i will be thinking of you alwayz
i realise how easy it is to smile in the presence of you
--
you xie ren shuo bu qing na li hao , dan jiu shi shui dou dai ti bu liao
--
i think that's the reason bahz..
w i t h . l o v e
8:00 AM
Friday, September 24, 2004
listening : Jerry - di xin yin li
it's friday.. finally the day i can let my hair down and enjoy myself.. juz for that one day.. sighx.. im really disappointed with myself.. emaths paper 2 is really easy . but i din score in it.. i mean.. i guess.. im stupid lah.. or maybe it was the inhuman taxi driver .. the hysteria of not bringin my calculator.. it all adds up to this.. i think.. my performance is really down.. i cannot accept this.. emath lehx.. a A1 sub one lor.. i can kill myself suan le..
disappointments upon disappointments..
i got nothing more to sae..
w i t h . l o v e
6:48 PM
Listening: Jerry Yan - Yi Gong Chi & the thunder
omgosh.. jerry's so hot..
LoLx..
his songs are nice..
i'm falling in love with him
w i t h . l o v e
3:00 PM
Thursday, September 23, 2004
ahhh...
im so disappointed with myself..
i bet im the only one in my class to fail emath..
this is SHIT
my brother juz solved the questions within a few mins..
i took half an hour and still got the wrong ans..
that is bad
im sad..
how come my bro can solve it.. i cant
w i t h . l o v e
7:13 PM
today's a bad bad day..
in the morning:
Gab walked over to my blk to tell me that her dad's not free to take us to school.. the time was 7am.. so we walked towards the junction and turned left trying to flag for a taxi.. the taxi drivers din even wan to stop for us..so we went out further.. the route that the bus 169 take.. although there were alot of taxis.. either they are hired or busy or simply refused to stop for us.. there's one taxi driver who showed us the X sign and then continue on his way.. we waited for 20 mins.. and even if we were to catch a taxi now.. we would be late.. Gab suggested that we skip sch and have to breakfast den show up again for our second paper.. blehx.. we wait for like a few minutes more.. finally at 7:21 am we boarded the taxi.. that taxi driver was a nice guy.. he saw us waving hysterically at any passing taxi.. and he took an u-turn to get to us.. I SUPPORT CITY CAB..the sight of two schoolgirls stranded at the road was not a pretty scene.. we were hysterical.. screaming and shouting at every single taxi..one old man who was riding bicycle .. came riding towards us and stared at us.. commenting about something that sounded like "chao ta" which absolutely made no sense at all..
In School:
so we reached school at 7:33am.. of cuz.. given the late coming slip and surrender our ez link cards to the people.. and the teacher juz have to catch me for tying my hair with a purple scrunchie.. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PURPLE?..thankfully we were sec 4E.. so we had our prelims as an excuse not to serve detention.. when i reached my classroom.. i took out all the necessary items for emath paper2 .. upon my horror.. i did not bring my calculator.. of cuz.. i was panicking.. thankfully.. the invigilator has one and she kindly loan it to me..
the paper:
i was in the state of hysteria and i was so nervous that i could not solve any problems on the paper.. and the paper was deemed difficult .. at least to me.. i can imagine everyone doing the paper with ease while i was struggling..
break:
the stupid lower sec students were so noisy..i couldnt study much for history.
history:
the stupid chong chueng people carry out this stupid event.. at the start.. the band started to play dunno what piece.. *i dun bother to find out* .. and each time they hit the bass drum.. the factor that i was about to write juz went out of my mind.. i had trouble trying to complete my section b..while i was doing section a.. they had to organise this stupid Q and A session.. and the emcee was so irritating..
here's some excerpt:
emcee:for the equation E=mc^2.. what does c^2 stands for.
audience: quiet
emcee: to dunno what house .. what's your answer.
unknown house: ...
emcee: wrong .. let's open this to the audience
audience:some ans
emcee: that's correct.applause
audience: *applause*
i was rolling my eyes and doing my source base question.. now that's difficult cuz while rolling my eyes i cant focusing on my source base..
today's a bad day..
the only happy thing was i scored 25/30 for my poa mock..
and well.. in another view.. i thank God for sending a kind taxi driver and a calculator..
but stil..today is not my day
w i t h . l o v e
2:03 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
blehx.. chinese alwayz makes me sleepy..
was pretty shocked to find 17 ci yu and 10 zao ju o.0..
amaths was okie..
when i sae okie.. i mean im gonna fail.. cuz it's the norm..
so if o lvl.. by God's grace.. im able to sae .. i've got a shocking news.
put on your seat belt alreadi.. or my results is gonna make you stumped..
LoLx..
well.. at least i attempted every single questions..
all i can hope is to do well in amath paper 1..
so my grade will not be a F9..
but a E8 or D7..
=D
im optimistic huh..
oh yeah.. having history and emaths 2 tml..
i wonder why teachers plan such crap schedule..
well.. the ministry of education peeps do plan crap schedule..
i think they train teachers in NIE to plan such crap den students get to suffer..
evil evil..
opps.. i think im gonna get charged .. gonna strike them off
aniwae.. i think im pretty sleepy .. so im gonna slp..
dum dee dum..
my dear darling.. not get discouraged alright..
you can do it de..
so smilez..
i'll keep you in my prayers..
and i can promise you..
God's grace is sufficient =D..
Do your best and let God do the rest alright..
love ya..and let's work hard!!!
MUAHAHAHA
w i t h . l o v e
1:25 PM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
listening to : Simple Plan - welcome to my life..
juz came back from school..
had emath 1 and social studies paper
emath 1 was quite tricky i guess.. but you never know the end results until you see it..
im appalled by my own behaviour
as i went to sleep late last night.. i had problem concentrating during examinations..
after that gruelling math paper that requires lots of brain power..
not much was left for social studies..
i was so tired..
i decided to do section b..
finished that around 30 mins later.. and i continue to do the 2 source based questions..
and 15 mins later i had 45 mins to do the last two source based questions..
but i was tired..
dat i totally skipped the two questions..
and i just stone there..
i hope i wont encounter the same problem during Os..
esp on my last day.. when im gonna have 3 papers..
juz hope my tiredness wun interfer with my judgement ..
blehx..
im still in shock..
im going to slp..
in order to prevent a repeat of what had happen today..
w i t h . l o v e
1:39 PM
Monday, September 20, 2004
i dont believe this..
DAN BROWN is a CHRISTIAN..
okiex...
maybe.. abit
but oh well.. his books are still brilliant
w i t h . l o v e
3:09 PM
i dont believe this..
DAN BROWN is a CHRISTIAN..
okiex...
maybe.. abit
w i t h . l o v e
3:09 PM
poa 2 and chinese 1 are goner..
after a few mths of not writing chinese essay..
only after a few mths..
what i've written today was worse than some sec 1 work..
i didnt study for poa ..
so i guess..
i deserved it .
LoLx..
but im not worried..
why?
w i t h . l o v e
2:01 PM
Sunday, September 19, 2004
my brother bought Dan Brown - Angels aand Demons..
muahahahahahahah...
finally.. a good book to read..
but..
why he alwayz wait until my exams come then he buys books?
*ponders*
but heck.. im gonna read...
w i t h . l o v e
2:39 PM
yesterday went for svc..
after svc had to meet sis bel..
what she've said really brought me back to the reality..
really.. what impact can we make if our spiritual life is not up to standard?
how do we expect people to experience the presence of God when we are no longer sensing it?
the impact we can make is to carry the presence of God
let people sense something different in the atmosphere..
when we stepped in to a place..
let that place be different.. filled with the holy spirit
we should be edifying..
so what am i doing?
i should build up my own spiritual life instead of being stuck in the past..
stuck in time when i can alwayz sense the presence of God ..
but now.. i should pray more.. read the word more.. to build a strong atmosphere..
i guess... im too distracted..
by school.. by my results.. by my life..
that i totally lost the purpose in me..
the one i had not long ago..
the one whr i know what i wan and what i wan to achieve in the kingdom of God
i let myself down.. not guarding my heart.. not guarding my mind..
i told myself i will be ok.. but im not ok..
becuz i have lost that presence of God in my life..
now i understand.. and i know that.. this come from God..
to remind me that He long to speak to me..
but im not willing.. i do not have the faith..
now i know.. why am i alwayz so depressed.. so sad..
becuz i lost the joy of the lord in my life..
i wan to get it back..
becuz.. that's the onli place i noe i will find peace and joy..
and i noe my burden is not heavy.. becuz i cast it upon the Lord..
His yolk is light..
Cast all my cares upon Him.
i will not worry..
Thank God for this revelation..
w i t h . l o v e
1:57 PM
Saturday, September 18, 2004
i almost burn my whole house down..
seriously.. my absent-mindedness is getting more and more serious..
w i t h . l o v e
11:45 AM
Friday, September 17, 2004
emotions suppressed inside of me..
i long to let it out
but i cant
this is not good
how can i have a journal and not express my feelings
defeat its purpose
sighx
im confused
by myself
argh
i nid to find someone to talk!
[/edit]
welcome to my life makes me sad
but somehow .. i like it..
guess..im weird
w i t h . l o v e
8:47 PM
Simple Plan - welcome to my life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like some how you just don’t belong,
And no one understands you?
Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud,
That no one hears you screaming?
No, you don’t know what it’s like,
When nothing feels alright,
You don’t know what it’s like,
To be like me!
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you’re down,
To feel like you’ve been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one’s there to save you,
No you don’t know what it’s like,
Welcome to my life
Do you want to be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more,
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies,
While deep inside you’re bleeding?
No you don’t know what it’s like,
When nothing feels alright,
You don’t know what it’s like,
To be like me!
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you’re down,
To feel like you’ve been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one’s there to save you,
No you don’t know what it’s like,
Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face!
No one ever stabs you in the back!
You might think I’m happy,
But I’m not gonna be okay!
Everybody always gave you what you wanted!
You never had to work, it was always there!
You don’t know what it’s like (what it’s like)…
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you’re down,
To feel like you’ve been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one’s there to save you,
No you don’t know what it’s like,
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you’re down,
To feel like you’ve been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one’s there to save you,
No you don’t know what it’s like,
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life!
Welcome to my life!
--
have you ever wonder why most fairy tales end with a happily ever after?
pardon me for being cynical..
but i do think.. fairy tales were filled with lies .. lies that were hidden beneath the plastic fake happiness..
no ever fairy tales shld end with a happily ever after..
it's too much of a fantasy ..
welcome to the reality..
this is the world!
w i t h . l o v e
5:55 PM
haha.. english exam was crap!
really beri unexpected..
i'll juz be glad to get C5 i guess..
LoLx..
new layout?
nice?
new song too..
i think ripway's bandwidth is too little.
so i changed it to angelfire..
oh yeah.. aniwae..
monday's having poa and chi..
wat a drag..
maths and humans next week..
gotta study with gab tml..
dum dee dum
im off..
smile all..
and i love you all..
haha..
w i t h . l o v e
4:18 PM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
hey .. here i am.. juz came back from cellgroup .. it's refreshing.. i felt the Lord is trying to tell me the verse " seek first the kingdom of God and all shall be added unto you" .. i think ..i've been focusing too much on my studies.. to a point that i can even sacrifice the Quiet Time with studying.. i mean .. by doing so .. im not putting God first in my heart.. felt tat the holy spirit is telling me to prioritize the first love in my life.. IT shld be Jesus.. and not same results.. i mean.. surely if i honour God .. God will see my faithfulness... even in midst of examinations.. i given Him my time .. He surely will honour me =D ..
surely .. hearing that rhema word from God can really change my thinking.. i long for the days where God speaks to me everyday.. i mean.. whr else can you find such joy?
tml's my english exams.. although i can still feel butterflies in my stomach.. im not that nervous.. somehow i noe .. IF God can bring us to it .. God can bring us through it.. Let Go .. and Let God.. I will do my BEST and let God do the REST..
aMen.~ what an awesome and powerful God i have huh..
i love him..
this is not juz a decision.. it's love with passion =)
dum dee dum..
im off..
w i t h . l o v e
10:00 PM
this is bad... prelims is offically starting tml and here i am .. as usual.. in front of the comp.. and guess what? i got addicted to neopets again.. i mean.. i cant tear myself away from NEOPETS .. how bad can that be?
blehx.. having eng papers tml.. i juz hope that somehow lady luck is with me and i will get distinction? *crossed fingers* .. but hey.. i never believe in lady luck .. oh well.. i guess..today i will have to pray longer *winkz* .. aniwae.. ms haslinda juz return tons of stuffs back to us.. i mean.. some of them were like dated how many mths ago? but oh well.. at least we got it back.. aniwae.. i think i will have to like read the dictionary or the thesaurus to like improve my very very very limited vocabulary.. sound drastic? tell me about it.. i mean.. me studying? that's an oxymoron.. i've turned totally nuts ever since reality stuck me.. i mean everywhere i go .. im perpetually being reminded that o lvl is juz two months away?
oh yeah...i guess.. playing will juz have to wait.. it's a torture =( .. but then again.. imagine the fun after O .. that really perk me up .. aniwae.. i juz have to throw myself into my room.. and start that round of intensive study soon.. or else.. im heading for big trouble..
yeah yeah.. im taking choir break i guess.. i mean.. whr can i find extra time to go for choir prac? but .. im still gonna serve in service ..
juz wan to sae.. thanks to my dearies.. for being there.. i really appreciate it.. i mean... they are juz so sweet .. let's keep on encouraging each other and get through this together yeah?
oooohhh.. im beginning to see hope again..
i love my dearies..
i love God for sending them to me..
i love my life =D
w i t h . l o v e
5:18 PM
Wackiness: 28/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 24/100
Leadership: 64/100
You are a SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you a Dictator.
You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.
You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.
Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.
You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.
Of the 23912 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 5.2 % are this type.
---
woah.. that makes me sound bad..
---
chem prac was okie ..
except for the calculating part i guess..
w i t h . l o v e
2:56 PM
venue: home
time : 10:10 am
oops? i skipped school today? blehx.. seems that everyone on my msn buddy list is asking me the same qns.. yeah.. im having chem prac later on .. which is why im still at home.. this feeling of apphrension is killing me .. sounds familar *o.0*.. well..im worried about VA .. all thanks to Mdm Ho for telling us how difficult it's gonna be .. i'll just have to score in QA .. aniwae.. phy prac was amazingly easy yesterday .. i alwayz thought prelims is gonna be tough .. but hey.. prac was easy .. but on the other hand .. i think the theory paper is gonna be tougher ..
another suicide case at bishan yesterday.. seems like jumping off the tracks is the trend now huh... i dun understand why when people wan to commit suicide .. oh well.. they shld have done that safety precaution thing long ago.. not wait until there's a total of 300+ - 400+ cases of such dat it struck them that they had to do it ..
well.. i guess i better get going or i will be barred from taking the exam..
dum dee dum..
im off =D
w i t h . l o v e
10:09 AM
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
tml marks the start of my prelims .. having phy prac tml..have to report to sch by 11:15 am.. thx God im in the last shift or else i have to get quarantined .. oh well .. i guess im like pretty nervous? still wondering shld i stay up late today and study and wake up at 10 tml.. hmm.. did some notes on chemistry yesterday.. so yeah.. managed to understand organic chem abit better.. i guess im still nervous bahz.. i felt apprehensive bahz. i mean.. this is PRELIMS after all.. oh well.. maybe i shld juz relax ...
haha.. aniwae.. we had photo shoot today.. seriously i think .. our clz's informal pose is the best among the rest.. haha.. our clz is much more cooler bahz.. LoLx..aniwae.. we had this prelims briefing in the hall after school.. i knew that Mrs Thong's gonna take more den 1/2 hr .. she's like talking ever so slowly and with her melodious voice , it's a wonder no one fell asleep .. aniwae.. we just went thru the motion . i mean.. we've been to like 8 pre exams briefing.. why do we nid another one? *rolled my eyes* .. oh yeah.. after sch .. i went home with Gab.. the bus drivier was totally evil .. she takes joy in seeing students stumbling about in the bus as she steered the bus at sharp turns.. *rolled my eyes* i could see her trying to hide her laughter beneath that look of hers.. i mean.. she's totally irritating.. blehx.. poor students .. we have to suffer under these evil drivers' hands.. whr's the justice???
well aniwae.. Mdm Ho told us that our prelims prac is gonna be tough.. the VA qn is gonna be totally new to us .. she said that we had never do it before during our prac .. so basically.. it's like... duh! they are tryin to make us die in prelims.. sighx..
Gab and i were planning to have an all day outing after prelims.. juz 1 day .. to relax ourselves befor our intense revision.. i long to go shopping!!! haha..
so here's my little encouragement to my friends:
Hey Gab, Ning, Yu Wei , Aries , Daryl & Jul .
GAmbette for Prelims and O/N Lvl .. Work hard and let's wait to reap our success..
--
dum dee dum..
im off..
w i t h . l o v e
6:23 PM
Monday, September 13, 2004
awwww...
one of my classmates was so sweet..
she did this little packet of sweets for the whole class and wrote little encouragement on the paper and gave it to us..
i was really touched.. *big shout: Thx maisarah*
well.. juz caught friends on tv..
awwww..
it's so sad that the show has ended..
it's really hard to find shows that could remain as funny when it has been air over the tv for like 10 years?
haha..
aniwae , i adopted a new tactic..
well.. i decided to scrap off prelims.. totally
i mean.. im gonna study hard and all..
but the goal is not prelim..
but it's for o lvls..
i know.. given my character.. if i had given my all for prelims
im gonna be so drained and if im disappointed over my results..
i WILL not get back up in time for Os
so instead of torturing myself mentally and emotionally ..
i would rather focuz on the impt thing..
i think some might not agree..
but i think it suits me fine..
aniwae..
the rest of my dearies..
study hard alright..
take the Prelims and O lvl by storm..
peace and..
i love you all
w i t h . l o v e
10:58 PM
Sunday, September 12, 2004
AHHHHH
i felt so happy today
cuz i felt the presence of God .. so strong
Pastor actually asked for the poly and uni students to go down and get prayed for
in my heart i was crying out to God
God i wan more of you. God i wan to be open.Give me the rhema word that i nid.God pls let Pastor pray for those having N;O;A lvl students..
the next thing .. pastor said
i wan all the Sec 4s and 5s and the Jc students to come down
i was so happy..
i was juz worshipping God..
at the altar..
den the presence of God juz rushed down like a mighty wind
i fell..
under the presence of God .. His Glory
i dun wan to get up..
but i noe i had to ..
i get up.. i stumbled .. the presence of God still lingers..
God .. i wan MORE OF YOU..
although im worried now..
but you said CAST ALL YOUR CARES UPON YOU
i know i SERVE a GREAT GOD
This love will never die..
really..
w i t h . l o v e
1:18 AM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Listening to : Chinese Mtv Show on Channel 8
i've been a bad bad girl , i didnt really study much although i was freaking out inside of me. I cant bring myself to face that pile of amath work.Im so afraid.I failed my emath mock again. i wonder what's happening to me.
w i t h . l o v e
10:06 AM
Thursday, September 09, 2004
juz came back from cell group
well , actually studied with gab at 883 mac before cell
it was alright until this group of 3 indian girls *i have nothing against indians.i love different races*
they were so squeaky and loud and all..
fussing over one sms..
thinking their thoughts ALOUD
and it was disturbing
very disturbing
especially when i was doing AMATH
i din appreciate the noise
so i put on my earphone
and i could HEAR THEM
i stared at them.. i glared at them
they took no notice..
after wat seems like eternity *which was in fact 1/2 hr* later
they left..
peace was granted to me..
i finished my amath hmk
welll... part of it..
the ones which i knew how to do..
arghhh..
i am losing it
im starting to feel that tension
i felt that im not prepared at all
o lvl is like 2 mths away
and i am NOT PREPARED
i felt that the time that i have spent in sec 3 and earlier this year
was wasted..
really..
now i am very scared
i am terrified..
i couldnt stand the thought of getting at least 4 A1s..
NO I CANT..
well.. i hope with God .. it is possible.. He knows my desires..
The fervent prayer of the righteous man avails much
i really hope so ..
God .. give me that confirmation..
i nid to know..
aniwae.. after cellgroup..
we sang " You are my star" to sis bao lian.. i was so nervous.. i got this line which i cant get the pitch rite..
i kept on practising and practising..
guess it turned out quite alright..
even though i was crying and all..
i guess.. alone i couldnt do much.. but i have God with me..
His strength is upon me..
i shld get out of this "being young" in the Lord thing..
i shld get over and get on ..
im searching for the faith..
that i once had..
so i wun be that stress and i can be assured that i will do well..
cuz with God .. all things are possible.
w i t h . l o v e
11:30 PM
it's amath amath and amath all these days.
im going mad.. seriously..
im gonna drop account..im not gonna study for it..
physics is alright.. juz did the specimen papers and all..
chemistry will ne covered tml..
im gonna do last min humans cramming..
so i left maths..
and i have to practise them until im definately gonna get that A1
w i t h . l o v e
8:28 AM
Monday, September 06, 2004
actually .. i intended to study..
but somehow i juz cleaned up my room..
i guess.. whenever i feel the stress.. i would turn my room upside down bahz..
did emaths june paper..quite okie..
spent alot of time reflecting i guess..
time is running out bahz..
now is the period to go for it.. to work hard..
i believe in myself..i believe in God..
w i t h . l o v e
1:48 PM
Sunday, September 05, 2004
im still sick..
but miraculously .. the time i've stayed in church.. i felt better.. haha..
cuz it's the power of God bahz..
haha.. im weak but He's strong .. yeah?
im disappointed with myself..
really..
the fact that why i make people worry for me..
i dun wan to..
i noe sis bao lian done alot for me..
im so so so sorry for disappointing her so many times..
i find it so hard not to blame myself..
w i t h . l o v e
1:05 PM
as i said... my life is filled with too many "if onlys"
if only i stay stronger when irene left..
if only i study harder so i can free up my time..
if only i stay stronger.. continue to trust in Him during difficult times..
if only i am more sensible..
if only...
im sad...
the first leader left when i juz went to church for 3 mths..
though it's short.. but the bond is there..
now it's worst..
i feel so bad..
why must it alwayz happen?
w i t h . l o v e
11:29 AM
Saturday, September 04, 2004
once in a while.. i wud dream of my lil fairytale..
perhaps.. im searching for my own little story..
i never like to regret..
however.. my life is filled with too many "if onlys"..
w i t h . l o v e
2:10 PM
ahhhh.. my fever juz wun subside..
blehx.. this is bad.. i hate being sick..
aniwae.. i've put up a new layout for my bloggie..
blog song -> counting crows - accidentally in love..
groovy huhx?
blehx..
i hope i feel well enuff to go church today..
it seems so weird to stay at home on sat..
w i t h . l o v e
1:17 PM
Friday, September 03, 2004
how great to get sick juz before prelims..
i told my mother that if i go sch today.. my fever is gonna accelerate..
guess what? originally my temp was 37.4.. now it was 38.1...
i think .. being forced out of bed and sit in front of the comp with the fan blowing my way is gonna be bad..
i foresee the chances of being hospitalised...
must be the dang~ mosquitoes..
hordes of mosquitoes juz like to settle on me to sink their cute little fang into my skin..
so nice Mr/Ms mosquitoes...
im gonna spray insecticides at the bus stop everyday..
that bus stop is evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
w i t h . l o v e
3:44 PM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
countdown no. of days to prelims : 13 more days...
i only practise on amath and emath so far..
have to make notes of chem and phy bahz..
accounts must practise also..
humanities can last min bahz.. =X
chinese also last min bahz..
really have to concentrate on my sci and maths..
i dun think i fare very well in the emath mock..
prepare to recieve an earful from mdm nora..
yeah..
i tink i too stress le.. until im sick le..
later goin to cell group..
den tml got chinese test again..
sighx..
SAJC ... !!!!!
Have to stop dreaming of the reality.. make the DREAM a REALITY
w i t h . l o v e
6:04 PM
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
ahhhhhhhhh...actually planned to go to lib and study..
but gab and i were too shagged..
so we cancelled it..
today is not a fruitful day..
i woke up at 11+..
went back to slp at 2
woke up at 6
arghhh...
all my hmk undone..
sighx..
thx god onli nid to hand in eng and chi tml..
w i t h . l o v e
5:59 PM
ahhhhhhhhh...actually planned to go to lib and study..
but gab and i were too shagged..
so we cancelled it..
today is not a fruitful day..
i woke up at 11+..
went back to slp at 2
woke up at 6
arghhh...
all my hmk undone..
sighx..
thx god onli nid to hand in eng and chi tml..
w i t h . l o v e
5:59 PM